4 Weeks since Diagnosis

I realised today that it was exactly 4 weeks since I was told that I had cancer, and I thought it would be a good moment to reflect on how my life has changed in this relatively short period.

If you compare what I would have expected to be doing during this last month and what I have ended up doing, they couldn't be more different. However, everything I have been doing has seemed almost "normal". Having hardly been near a hospital most of my life, I'm suddenly there almost every other day, but it just seems like it's my life now. It's very odd actually - the closest I can equate to it is moving to a new area or a new job. Everything changes, but you just get on with it and learn as you go. It's like an adventure!

Am I a different person? I don't think so - maybe I've got a different goal all of the sudden ("beating cancer" wasn't on my list for 2008 I have to admit!) - but striving to reach a goal is a natural thing, whatever the goal is. In fact, I've already said to a few people that maybe I was struggling to think of any particular goal in my life before this and now this has bizarrely given me something worth focusing on!

Do I expect my life to change long-term? Maybe. Even if all goes to plan, I'll still probably have to eat differently (less food, more often), but who can say. There's a long way to go yet! Once I've run the marathons and won the Tour de France I can see myself going back pretty much to normal.

I've learned that cancer really does affect every one of us in some way or another. Nearly everyone I know has had a relative or friend who has had a brush with some form of the disease. Shockingly, my visits to the hospital show that although I am young, I am not the youngest - today we met a lady in her 30's married with a daughter just starting her first cycle of chemo (not sure what cancer she had though). I have also learned that many people come through it to live normal lives, and I've heard several inspirational stories.

I've learned that there are many different types of the illness and even more different types of treatment, including many different alternative therapies, so there are always options.

I've learned that the path through treatment is different for everybody and everybody suffers different side-effects.

I've learned that in my part of the world (and I'm sure elsewhere too) there are some wonderfully caring nurses and doctors always ready to drop everything and help you manage that next unexpected side-effect to ensure you are comfortable. If you are reading this. Thank-you.

I've learned that I have some wonderful friends who have said some wonderfully supportive things and I thank you all.

Finally, I've learned that morphine makes me go all slushy and sentimental so I'm going to stop there ...