Sunday 8th March 2009

I really don't know how to control this at the moment and it's getting frustrating again. Yesterday was all about getting sick by eating too much/too quickly or something like that (although I'm not conscious of it). Today has been all about food sticking and not going down properly.

It's not any particular kind of food - this morning it was very runny porridge, this evening it was the last portion of shepherd's pie, both of which I've quite happily eaten several times over the last few days without any problem.

The frustration is partly that I end up throwing up some of the food that I've eaten, and I just can't afford to be doing that with my limited intake, but more the fact that the sensation is exactly the same as I was having before the surgery, which makes me feel like there was no point going through it. I am focusing on the fact that I was forewarned that this might happen, and that it is definitely not a sign that the cancer has returned or anything like that, but it is just so irritating that it feels exactly the same.

It has happened two or three times over the last couple of weeks, but never twice in the same day. If it continues, it may mean that I have to have the join "stretched" which I'm not sure would be a pleasant experience but again I've been warned may be necessary at some point as the scar tissue gets in the way.

I have an appointment with the surgeon on Wednesday afternoon which is quite an important one - the results of the histology of the tumour - basically they will tell me if I need any post-operative treatment (more chemo or radiotherapy), and anything they found out from the tumour which might indicate the likelihood of the cancer coming back. I will also ask about this food sticking problem to see how often it needs to be happening before they decide to stretch the join.

Looking forward to a couple of better days before then I hope!

Good to see Nige and Nicci over the weekend by the way!

Anyway, more updates tomorrow

Cheers,

C