Saturday 31 October 2009

Saturday 31st October - Hallowe'en!


So, Hallowe'en 2009 already! One of our imports from the US that I don't mind too much, apart from the overt commercialism!

I remember celebrating Hallowe'en as a kid, although we never did the trick or treat thing. We did carve lanterns, but they were from large turnips, not pumpkins as we didn't get pumpkins over here until quite recently. In a way it is a shame because I still remember the very distinctive smell that a turnip with a tea-light in it gave off - very different from a pumpkin!

And in those pre Nanny-state days (I would have been six or seven) we carved our own turnips, unsupervised and with a sharp knife - never did me any harm ...


Things for me have been a bit up and down over the last week or so. I have had a week of being very low physically and mentally, although I have perked up mentally in the last couple of days (unfortunately not very much physically). I re-engaged with the MacMilland nurse team on Thursday and they have promised me Oxygen as a next step for the breathlessness if and when I need it, although I found that my asthma inhaler which I rarely use came in helpful the other day, so I'll start to use that a bit more.

I'm also going to start visiting the Hospice on a Thursday where they offer free relaxation therapy, massage, reflexology etc, so that should be nice.

Abdominal pains have calmed down a bit, but they are still there. I now remember that they've been around at this level for quite a long time, so I think they are definitely to do with the cancer. I'm told this is normal, as the liver swells when it is diseased and puts pressure on the abdominals. I guess it is inevitable, and it's not actually painful, more a discomfort at the moment.

Biggest change to come is that I have decided that it is time to stop work. I will go off on vacation mid-November to use up my holiday and then plan to switch to sick leave on the 2nd January. It will be quite difficult to switch off after 12 years working in this specific part of the IT industry, but I think now is the time that I need to start really focusing on my illness and recognising how debilitating it is. Work has recently become a bit of a burden when I've been feeling sick or low, and it's time to release that burden.

This also means that I will definitely not be making the trips to Stockholm or Hamburg in December which is a shame, but I just wouldn't have been able to contribute much from a work perspective, or join in any of the social side, so it would have been a lot of strain for little reward

Uh-oh, it's starting to get dark. Soon I will be invaded by a million kids knocking on the door. Wouldn't be so bad except Vanda has managed to find an excuse to be away tonight, so I will have to get up from my sofa constantly to distribute mountains of sweets. This will do wonders for my breathlessness no doubt! Still, its only for a couple of hours I suppose (although that is the disadvantage of living on a housing estate full of families - millions of bloody kids!)

See you later!

C

6 comments:

Stig said...

Was very much looking forward to see you in Hamburg, Col. Just horrible you can't be there.

-Stig

Anonymous said...

Col,

Might see you at NEC. I am also planning on being there on 14th.

AXB

Anonymous said...

I remember carving lanterns from turnips..... it was really hard cos they were so small!! And now you mention it... that's why... cos we bloody well didn't have pumpkins. And as for the smell I know exactly what you mean!!! HA HA!

It must have been a hard (and brave) decision to stop work mate and although it means a big change, if work is becoming a burden for you, it's one you can easily and well do without. You will find many things to fill the time - most, I suspect, much more fun than writing another .ppt!

I'm really sad that you've been feeling mentally down lately - you've been so positive and strong throughout this whole illness and it only takes one bad week (especially if you've noticed some more symptoms) to lay you low for a while. Easy for me to say but just try not to focus too much on one symptom or another - or it can be magnified more so than it need be.

And without any doubt, you'll be planning (expensive and luxurious) escapades which will require your undivided attention!!

Hard as things are Col you are a legend, strong and very inspirational and I'm sure everyone on here would agree with me. So damn well keep it that way!!

On the band front, had a chat with Matt the other day and when he sees you he will have a chat about getting a date for the public gig which should be a really good night - hopefully in Jan. Also, what plans for your birthday?!?!?

Right, enough rambling from me. Speak to you soon mate.

Dave

Anonymous said...

Col...so crap as I am at writing stuff I will try and perhaps bring a smile to your face, and I will start by saying frankly, carving turnips sounds like a better past time than eating them :-) mmmm Turnips / KFC /Turnips / KFC....tough one!

Am off to Greece on Thursday, with work and sadly so there will be no re-enactment of the sidari safari adventure, although I will toast an ouzo to you honey, or would that be a vodka/redbull, you know I cant remember (funny that!!), although I do remember a whipped cream incident on a dodgy bar crawl and everyone skinny dipping before being hawled off the beach by what felt like World War 2 search lights at the time, hahahaha! What a great holiday that was....although clubbing in Halifax, a walk on the moors, a severe hangover and vibrator racing games comes a close second :-) ....Flo xxx

Anonymous said...

Colin,

Flo told me about your illness and also the blog a while ago and I have been following it regularly for a while. I am sure everyone else also finds it difficult to put their feelings about your situation into words that don’t feel awkward!!! Your zest for life and enthusiasm is an inspiration to us all and I am so amazed at how you have and are dealing with such a shit situation. Even though we haven’t spoken since I left Mercury you are always in my thoughts. Keep your pecker up mate and keep up the great adventures ( I’m so jealous of the heli trip and Aston Martin, and the R8 sounds brilliant ).

Love from Kevin Francis and his ever growing family ( new wife and 4 kids !!! and loads of pumpkin carving )

Anonymous said...

hi col jen here its bon fire night and my dogs are trembling wrecks so dishing up the valium tim coming on tuesday for a deep purple concert remember them ? keep positive xx