Monday 3rd August 2009

Chemo Cycle 2 Day 15

Start of the third week of this cycle - the "recovery" week.

I've not had much to recover from side-effects wise, but I have noticed a marked dip in energy over the last few days. I think I had a bit of this last time although I didn't refer to it in my posts at the time. I think there is a combination of factors of coming off the steroids, and the dip in blood count in the middle week, but I've been really struggling to do anything at all, and going up stairs leaves me breathless.

Hopefully things will pick up a bit this week as it has been a real mental struggle to get out of bed and force myself to eat something. I'm going to investigate the possibility of staying on a low-dose steroid full time. I know that the course I have is to prevent an allergic reaction to the chemo drugs, but the fact that they give me energy and an appetite is a real boon, so I'm wondering if they would continue to provide that benefit if I stayed on them. Of course, the effects of these things often wear off with continued use, so I'm not certain my GP will be in favour, but its worth asking I think.

My scan appointment has come in for this Friday, although I don't think I'll get the results until the 18th. I am very conscious of the importance of this one - it's really the make or break scan and a lot of my future plans depend on the outcome. It's really the indicator as to whether I have 6 months or so to live, or hopefully considerably longer, based on whether the cancer has reacted to the chemo or not. It's odd writing that down, but it really is as black and white as that. It's also the real last chance for anything positive - if it comes out well, then more treatment, if negative then they effectively give up on me and switch to treatment of symptoms only.

As you have probably figured out, I'm pretty good at not worrying until there is something to worry about, so this isn't playing on my mind, although I am definitely thinking about it a bit this time.

That's all for today - time to find some lunch ...

Cheers,

C.